"

“Home is where the heart is,” they say, but
I can’t find my heart. No wonder I never feel
at home. I get caught in bed sheets and bad
dreams about the past, pictures and memories
slap me in the face even when I’m asleep.

There’s no escape really, I use to drown in
my tears at midnight and wake up alive. Now
I realize I’m in over my head, slowly suffocating
myself with unsaid words and crowded thoughts.
Things I cannot, will not, don’t even know how to
actually say, are what bug me every single day of
every week. Leaving the house doesn’t even help
anymore, because I just want to fall back into the
waves I call covers and sleep just to forget, but
really to remember, what I’m running from.

You know, you live in a house with family, but really
what is family? I don’t remember anymore, because
it’s more like strangers you know really well, just
not enough to tell them you’re slowly dying inside
your mind. I’ve had longer conversations with
sleeping pills and the walls of my bedroom. At
least their silence doesn’t make you feel like
you’re fucking insane.

“I’m fine,” has just become the default of, “I wish
you’d stop asking, you don’t really care.”
Or maybe it’s because I’m too tired to explain what’s
wrong, or how I feel, because I live it every waking
moment. Maybe it’s the thought they would know by
looking into my lifeless eyes, there’s nothing there.
Maybe it’s the urge to tell my mother the
first time my skin was kissed, it was by the razor,
then realizing how pathetic I really am. Or maybe it’s
just the sadness talking, I don’t really know anymore.

"
- i.c. // "What’re you running from?" (via delicatepoetry)

assholecliffxrd:

Prizes: €155+

  • 5sos t-shirt
  • 5sos baseball tee
  • "So he calls me up and he’s like ‘I still love you’ and I’m like ‘but you’re not luke hemmings’" sweatshirt
  • "My ideal weight is Ashton Irwin on top of me" t-shirt
  • 5sos writst bands (x2)
  • Don’t Stop EP
  • She Looks So Perfect EP
  • Amnesia EP
  • Somewhere New EP
  • Phone Cases (x4)
  • 5sos bracelets
  • 5sos necklace

Rules:

  • You must be following assholecliffxrd
  • You have to Reblog this post (as many times as you wish)
  • Liking this post does not count, but you can use it as a bookmark
  • Make sure that your ask is open so I can message you if you win
  • DON’T DELETE THE TEXT FOR THIS POST!

To increase your chances:

  • Reblog more than once (One Reblog = One Entry)
  • Follow my instagram cliffxconda and message me your username

Information:

  • It’s international (yay)
  • Winners will be announced on January 1st
  • I will be paying for the prizes and shipping myself (money spent on the prizes is a birthday present from my family lol)
  • If you win and I message you, you have to reply within 24hrs. Otherwise I will choose a different winner
  • It might take a while for the prizes to be shipped to me, and then for them to be shipped to you so be patient
  • If you have any questions, message me

GOOD LUCK!

(via thekenzierachel)

pinkspeakersmut:

Calum is on outings with his friends.

image

Ashton is out looking at the stars and his belly button.

image

Michael is playing video games and having barbecues.

image

Luke is hanging out with his family and having lazy days and listening to his dad’s jokes.

image

I am so happy for those guys.

So so happy.

(via jawdropclifford)